Ghostbusters 2.5

Warm kisses from the frost covered lips of New Yorkers on New Year’s Eve pecked Louis’s face as the pink wall of slime covering the museum cracked open and began to melt. A smile worthy of an Olympic gold cup medalist spread across the face of Louis Tully. “I did it! I helped you guys! I did it. I did it!” he exclaimed as the roar of the crowd got louder and the slime dissipated back into the sewers and netherworlds in which it came from.

“Ha ha! I’m a real Ghostbuster now!” said Louis. A loud, booming noise came from the museum as Louis spoke and emerging from the front door of the museum were Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddemore followed by Dana Barrett and her child Oscar. Tagging along behind Dr. Stantz was a short European man with blond hair that was covered from head to toe in pink slime. Dr. Venkman walked out of the museum with Dana in one arm and as he passed through the adoring crowd, he removed a cone shaped party hat off the head of a man and placed it on himself.

“My city. My people! You love us! And we, the Ghostbusters, New York’s finest paranormal hunting experts love you, the Big Apple!” bragged Venkman. “Not even this Carpathian, Darwinian Nightmare could stop these four musketeers. Remember this next time Mr. Mayor decided to forget about all the good deeds that I…pardon me…WE do for this great city of ours.”

Louis adjusted his glasses as the crowd turned away from him and began to cheer for the original four Ghostbusters. “Guys…you know. I did it too. I broke the shell. I’m a hero!” Tully’s proclamations fell upon deaf ears as the roar of the crowd got louder for the Ghostbusters.

“Ladies and gentleman of New York City, let it be known that if any ghost, monster, werewolf, vampire, or cockroach tries to mess with the best, they will…” Venkman briefly paused to think of a rhyme, “…have their asses kicked by the best!” Venkman paused again to see if the crowd noticed his goof, but the applause only grew louder.

“Er….uh….I’ll show them! I’m a hero too!” Louis charged back into the museum with purpose. The floors of the main chamber were still covered in pink slime, and with each step Louis took in the slime, the more his body began to tingle.

“Gee, I feel kinda good right now.” It was a feeling similar to what Louis felt when Zuul had possessed his body and named him The Key Master, yet still slightly different. “I feel like a million bucks!” Louis said with a goofy grin. “This is slime, though. Slime is bad, and this could only mean that there are more ghosts around! I must continue with my mission. I’ve got to prove that I’m a hero too. I saved the guys.!” A burp came from a nearby puddle of slime.

“I went inside their lockers, I wore their uniform, and I figured out the proton shooter thing,” the slime burped again. “I broke the pink wall! Why didn’t the crowd understand? Of course, New Yorkers are stupid. They wouldn’t understand.” The slime puddle began to solidify. “Why does Peter always get all the attention? I saved them this time! Why aren’t they commenting on my abilities instead?” Arms grew out of the pink slime.

“Nobody is ever grateful for me. I do everything. If it weren’t for me, those guys would be under a judicial mischangement order! The blue thing I got from the other lady! They could be exposing themselves right now!” Louis snarled. He took off his earmuffs. “Do you hear me? Fight me! I’m the hero!”

“LOUIS…”

The pink slime had formed into a near perfect replica of Louis himself. Complete with slicked hair, round glasses, and another proton pack, the only thing that differentiated between the two Louis’s was the shiny pink slime.

“PREPARE TO DIE!”

“Wah!” Louis screamed as he fuddled around with his proton blaster. His feet had gotten stuck in a solid pool of pink slime, and he couldn’t remember if it was the red lever or the white button that turned on the gun.

“Eyah! I don’t know how this works!” Louis said. Slime Louis reached his proton gun back in order to strike Louis, but was stopped when Louis’s gun finally switched on, albeit pointed at the floor, sending Louis twelve feet into the air.

“AAHHHH!”

Slime Louis grinned with his lips and reformed into a pit not unlike a blooming flower in its appearance.

“NO ONE SHALL HEAR FROM YOU NOR RICK AGAIN!”

“Who? WHAA!!” Louis said with a confused, terrified look as he was swallowed into the slime pit. The slime then swallowed in on itself and liquefied itself back into a puddle. Flowing as if an imaginary force were tilting the floor, the slime poured itself outside and into a nearby sewage drain, unseen and unbeknownst to the Ghostbusters and New Yorkers still in celebration.

Still addressing the crowd with the charisma of a cable game show host, Venkman said, “You know folks, all good things must come to end. This evil, sad little monkey didn’t know which fine city it was dealing with. Only New York has the Ghostbusters, Dr. Raymond Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, Egon, and yours truly will always have this city’s back, and accept no substitute!”